First, an explanation:

Greg the Trumpet is a saxophonist. The monicker Greg the Trumpet was coined by a half-witted cutter at the once-esteemed Savile Row tailoring establishment of Denman & Goddard. Frank Byars, who shall remain nameless, was entrusted with

bringing into being a sartorial creation equal in artistic glory to the performance delivered by our eponymous hero at Denman & Goddardís Christmas bash circa 1994.

Dazzled to the point of befuddlement by the horn playerís efforts, and ignorant of, amongst other items, his

surname, Byars hazarded a stab at the artistís instrument (not literally) in order to identify him for their pattern archive. The denizens of Londonís West End took to the nickname and, thenceforth, that became what, in this portion of the globe, he answers to.

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